the application

the application.

If you made it this far, and would like to apply to take me out, please fill out the form below.

If you want to make up a fake last name, I won’t hold it against you. This isn’t a job application.

***Please scroll down for the politics in regards to the application. By submitting the application you agree to all terms.***

Name *
Check all that apply *

the low down.

By submitting this application you agree and consent to the following:

  • You are over the age of 18. You really need to be over the age of 30 let’s be honest.

  • You consent me showing anyone and everyone your submission if I feel like it.

  • There is a very solid chance I will respond. Be prepared. If I don’t respond, I’m doing you a favor.

  • You need to live in Dallas. Flying me out to your location, putting me up at a 5 star hotel with cushy robes, room service, and a sick pool…is also acceptable.

  • I anticipate minimal applications, so feel free to refer your friends, brother, cousin, uncle, or your dad.

  • If you are an ex boyfriend of mine, and would like to date me again, I have a different website for you. Please visit and buy back my affection.

Any other spam you want to send email ->